After listening to many of my guy and girl friends who have shared their relationship stories, and their parents and friends relationship stories with me, I have found that the strongest relationships have these 5 elements.
The first, most important and probably most obvious element is Love. Without love the other elements wouldn’t exist. You actually have to feel love in your heart for the other person, which to define love is an overall caring and sharing, compromising experience. To love is to give of yourself in all ways moral and ethical to grow a healthy relationship with another person.
The second element of a successful relationship is Chemistry. You have to have chemistry. Chemistry is something your body feels, not something your mind thinks. It’s the unsaid attraction to each other. It makes kisses passionate, it makes sex loving and kind and it’s what makes you adore each other for all time. Without chemistry your love can die over time.
The third element is Balance. Balance in a relationship can sometimes be a very tough thing to find. Spending enough time together, doing things together and spending enough time apart doing things alone, or with friends and family is very important for the strength of a relationship. There is something to be said for missing someone… in absence the heart grows stronger. Keep your individuality and your hobbies but balance between your own, the other persons and the ones you have together. If you completely give up yourself for a relationship you will find yourself resenting the other person for having a life while you gave up yours for them, then they will say, “I never asked you to give up your life.” And the downward spiral will begin.
The fourth and a very important element is Respect. You have to respect your partner, if you don’t this is also where resentments can grow. You have to respect your partners past, their education, their career path, their choices, their religion and even their view on politics. While you don’t have to agree with them on all of these points you do have to respect them, their choices and their opinions. Agreeing to disagree is worth a million I love you’s. In fact, it’s silent love.
The fifth element is having a Common Ground. You and you partner to last and to grow need to agree on all of the most important details about a relationship. Where the relationship is going, to have children or not, to live in Hawaii or Maine, who will work and who will raise the kids? There are many questions that need to be answered and agreed upon before a relationship can be successful in lasting. If you just jump into a relationship and move in together and later find out that one of you wants children and the other can’t stand them, you won’t last. Communication is key for this element to be in effect.
If you ask me, these 5 elements are not a lot to ask for, so when making your list of Mr. or Ms. Perfect scratch off tall, dark, handsome, wealthy, nice rear end, full rack and a brain and put on the list, Love, Chemistry, Balance, Respect and Common Ground and I think you will find your way to an everlasting love much sooner!
Just a Girl – xoxo